Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
