Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
