3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
