I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
A+ Viking dick
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
