Where is the hickey?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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