I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
