You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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