So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
