Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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