he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
