Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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