It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You're like the curious george of whores
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize