Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
