I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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