ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i think my mom watched the whole time
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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