mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
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He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
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Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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