her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
