Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
