dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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