I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
