im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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