U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
