he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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