What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
