Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
And then he peed in my hair
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