where am i from again
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
