Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
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The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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