I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
