so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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