its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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