who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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