This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
