put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
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no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
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So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!