Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
bring money and cleavage
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.