I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I think I sprained my soul last night
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
