dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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