Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
