I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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