This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
