you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
