He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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