So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
well you can't waste a boner
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
