If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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