Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
