someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
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WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
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i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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