so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
