my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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