Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She's allergic to latex.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?