How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
