bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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