His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
