You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
