we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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