Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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