omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
