so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
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