Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
